Bearing fruit in every season

Look at me blogging in less than 6 months!  Wahoo!  :)  A little self encouragement before we get back to the lessons from the garden.  I have to say I am proud of myself.

Warning: this post is a little lengthy.  Apparently I write the way I talk :)  Whoops.

Ok so  we talked about the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5.  So as the Lord has been showing me scripture about fruit and growing of course, John 15 comes up.  John 15:4, "Abide in Me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.  'I am the vine, you are the branches.  He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.'" A little self explanatory but for me it goes a little deeper.  

Since our son, Josiah has been born I have been diagnosed with a condition called Meinier's Disease.  This condition is a build up of fluid in the inner ear which eventually releases and causes sever to moderate vertigo.  The condition varies greatly.  Some people it doesn't bother much and others it is debilitating.  For me, I have been having an episode about once a week and it usually last anywhere from 12 to 24 hours where it makes me extremely nauseous.  I have to ask friends and family to come help me watch the kids while I deal with it  because I can't be upright without...um..."tossing my cookies" :)  (Just to answer some questions, no it was not pregnancy related.  No, there is not really a cure-except the blood of Jesus- but there are proceeders that can help lessen the severity, which I have had 3 already.)  Needless to say this has been a very frustrating, angry, confusing time for us.  I have struggled with sharing with anyone because I keep telling myself it's not life threatening so it's not that bad.  But you know what?  It is that bad for me!  For those who know me, I don't slow down much.  Not that I am that busy, I just like to stay active (not that athletic, work out kind because that is definitely not the case, haha)  I like to have get togethers, play with my kids, visit with people and get out of the house....just active...not to mention the house work and kids :)  

When these episodes first started I was extremely frustrated and angry at God.  "I mean, really God?  I have a newborn and a one year old.  I don't have time for this!"  I was scared that I was not going to be able to enjoy them and they were going to have to be MY caretaker for the rest of my life.  So fear set in and I was hesitant to schedule anything and always had a plan B of who I could call to come help.  

So what does this have to do with bearing fruit?  The Lord began speaking to me about my heart during this time.  He lead me to Revelations 22:2,"In the middle of its street, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve fruits, each tree yielding its fruit every month.  The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.  And there shall be no more cures, but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it, and His servants shall serve Him." A tree that bears fruit in every season?  Huh?  What does that mean?  Well for me, it meant that I was called to bear fruit no matter what was going on in my life.  God was calling me to grow and bear good fruit during this difficult season.  My heart was bitter, angry and fearful which meant my fruit would produce the same things not only in me but in my children!  How was I supposed to teach my kids about the faithfulness and healing power of God when I did not believe it myself?  Get it?  It produces fruit in every season even in my kid's seasons.  So what kind of fruit do I want to produce in my children?  So I have made it a point to be thankful even when a dizzy episode comes at the most inconvenient time.  I try to find the good things about the situation because I want my children to know that the Lord is Good, He is faithful, He is healer.  He teaches us, even when it is hard.  And when we start producing that kind of fruit "the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations".  Again, not just for me but for others, the nations.  

So my healing comes when I produce fruit.  It may not be the healing that I expect but maybe that is not the healing I thought I needed.  Maybe it is not just physical healing but heart healing.  I want to be one that produces good fruit in every season even when all the circumstances says I'm not supposed to be producing.

It wouldn't be a blog post without some pictures of the kiddos.  

Bearing Fruit...or vegetables

This year my husband, Matt, and I planted our first garden.  So needless to say we are very "green" in knowing what to do, how to do it, and when to do all the gardening stuff.  We have heard a very wide range of opinions on how to do a garden from how big it should be to what we should plant.  So our original plans were to have a very small garden as in a 10 foot by 12 foot garden.  We thought, " This is give us the joy of gardening without the responsibility of watering, pulling weeds and then "harvesting" the goods.  Well Matt and I both usually do things bigger than we originally intend so naturally our garden grew to a respectable 20 foot by 30 foot garden with an additional area for cantaloup and watermelon with room to add if we want.    

Here is Havah and Josiah "helping" daddy plant more corn.  (Havah was helping, Josiah was eating dirt, rocks and sticks.  Please notice that Havah is wearing a tutu to help.)

Anyway, the Lord has taught me so much from this bigger than expected garden.  Hopefully over the next few days I will be able to share some of the lessons learned.  But first let me set the "ground work" for you.  Sorry I can't help myself from using gardening puns and cliches, it's too easy. :)  

Over the past few years the Lord has shared with me over and over again about the fruits of the Spirit.  You know, Galatians 5:22,"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."  Some of these fruits come as a gift so to speak and others...well lets just say they are still being cultivated.  I hope I am not the only one who has some work to do.  So in thinking about fruit, I think about it being sweet and refreshing.  My husband can admit to you that sometimes my "fruit" is not always sweet or refreshing.  If you have ever tried to grow anything you realize quickly that this is a process.  It doesn't happen overnight!  So just as we have to wait for our watermelons and cantaloup to grow I also have to grow in these other fruits.  

That's hard!  Especially when I have to apologize to my kids for not being long-suffering and loosing my peace.  It's so not easy but I think it comes with time.  Time in the Word, time in prayer, time in practice.  So even though I am still learning I am still growing.  

  This is some of our harvest :)  Peppers, tomatoes, corn and squash.  Yummy!

See, eating sticks :)  

Havah was focused.

9 months!

No I am not pregnant.  It has been 9 months since my last post!  Time has passed very quickly.  I read a few post from my blog when I first started and I got the fever, the blogging fever.  :)  Call it nostalgia, call it therapy, call it whatever you want but I feel the need to start blogging again.  So let's catch up!

Havah has just turned 2!

Josiah is now 11 months old!  He will be 1 in 3 weeks!  WOW!

Things are beautiful.  Things are hectic at times.  Things are challenging.  Things are developing.  Since my last blog, I have quit my job and am now a full time mommy.  Staying at home with the kids has been such a blessing however I will not lead you to believe that I am super mommy and have no problems, issues or frustrations.  So I thought I would share a few things that I have learned having 2 children and a wonderful husband.  Some are funny, some are not but all are true.  

Things I have learned in 9 months:

1. Two babies = lots of noise

2. I have to run the dishwasher once a day.  (I would like to take this opportunity to say how thankful I am to have a dishwasher!  If we did not, we would be eating the not-so-eco-friendly way.)

3. Sometimes I feel as though we have a breeding ground for clothes.  Laundry...never ends!

4. When you have 2 babies they share lots of things, even germs.  Twice as many trips to the doctor.  

5. You get to say lots of new phrases like, "Havah, let's not ride your brother like a horse." and "Josiah, please don't lick mommy's shoes."  

6. Going to the movies on a date becomes a chance to catch up on some sleep.

7.  I have laughed at the many creative things a two year old can come up with. 

8. My heart still melts when I get a hug from Havah, Josiah, and Matt :)  

9. It takes work to make it work.  

10. I wouldn't change ANYTHING!

Our daughter's name means life and she is certainly full of it!  She doesn't walk, she runs everywhere.  She doesn't do anything slowly or quietly.  She likes for us to sing to her before she goes to bed.  We sing a medley (that she came up with) that is mixed with spiritual, educational and fun.  It consist of, Jesus Loves Me, Itsy Bitsy Spider (with the motions) , E-I-O (Old McDonald with 2 verses a duck and pig), Deep and Wide (with the motions) and ABC's.  She would probably make us sing more but I don't think she knows any more names of the songs.  Whenever we go to my parent's house she watches The Sound of Music and knows the words to The Hills Are Alive.  It takes her a little while to warm up to new people and she is quick with an opinion.  She likes to choose her sippy cup and her clothes for the day.  Sometimes she does a great job picking out what she wants to wear...other times she ends up wearing a tutu, panties on top of her diaper and tennis shoes for a week and a half.  She doesn't like to cuddle unless she is just getting up from a nap but when she wants to give you a hug she will tackle you to let you have it.  

Here she is with her tutu, skinned up knees and mommy's socks.

Josiah is so laid back.  People always describe him as "sweet" and he is!  He is so cuddly, squishy and loving.  He is quick with a smile but definitely a momma's boy right now.  He only as 2 teeth right now and is trying to walk but lacking a little bit of confidence.  He blows kisses, waves bye bye (backwards), and claps.  Matter of fact, he claps for just about anything, when he stands up, when Havah slides down a slide or when he burps.  I hope we are not setting low standards of success.  haha He has a special bond with my grandmother (GiGi).  I have had to ask her to keep him on several different occasions and she tells me every time, "Kimberly, we don't answer the phone or the door because this is our special time. I tell him about what's going on in the world."  There is no telling what she is telling him but he is always happy when I pick him up and is quick to go to her when we see her again.  He loves to watch Havah and his other cousins play and desperately wants to get in the mix but can't quite keep up yet.  He is a big boy, there is only 4 pounds difference between him and his older sister.  When I was pregnant with him, Matt and I prayed that he would be a man of quiet wisdom and soft hearted to the voice of the Lord.  He is so soft hearted.  We had to tell him to stop playing with the fireplace a few days ago and you would have thought we took him out back and beat him.  He cried so hard.  I think it hurt his feelings.  We thought he would be quiet and more introverted however we are beginning to have second thoughts about that assessment.  

This is his first finger painting session.  

So now that we have caught up, let's see if we meet sooner than 9 months.  What do you think?  

Until next time (whenever that is),

   

Peace

Well let me start off this blog with updates.

We went to the doctor a few days ago for well baby visits, Havah for her 15 month and Josiah for his 2 month.  Before I give you any more details let's just say it was...adventurous.  Taking two babies at the same time for shots is not my idea of fun or in the realm of sanity in my opinion.  Lesson learned, take them separately.

Anyway, Havah is a whopping 21 pounds 10 ounces and 31 1/2 inches long.  According to the doctor she is saying more words than the average 15 month old, I could have told him that because she is a little chatter box.  She is right on track with her development, walking, jabbering, and learning at the speed of sound.  Josiah, is a scale breaking 13 pounds 9 ounces and 24 1/4 inches long.  So there is only 8 pounds difference between my two kids!  Amazing what having a full term baby will do.  He, as well, is developmentally right on track with his heart melting smiles and coos.

As I mentioned in my last blog, Father God has taught me so much through our kids. So here is a lesson learned about peace.

When we brought Josiah home, my naive self thought adjusting would be easy, I mean after all I do already have one child, I have done this all before.  I was wrong.  Just being honest I was intimidated by having both children together at once by myself.  A lot of fear went through my head.  "What if I loose my cool with them?"  "What if I don't know what to do with them?"  "What if they don't like me?" "Am I spending enough time with each of them?"  "Are the healthy?"  "Am I doing the same things with Josiah as I did with Havah?"  This list could go on but you get the idea.  I didn't really want to share this extensive list with anyone much less be honest about it with God.  I thought, "this will pass, just keep pushing through."  I tried to just push through but it didn't work.  I found myself in a whirlwind of trying to look good on the outside but emotional chaos was brewing on the inside.   

One night, my incredible sister-in-law convinced me to go to a women's conference with her at the church we used to attend.  I was very hesitant because after all, if I was intimidated with both kids then surely my husband would be as well.  However, after much encouragement I decided to go.  I can't really tell you what the message was about or how amazing the worship was I just know that after I left I felt like a totally different person.  I felt renewed, refreshed, like I had drank a cool glass of water after a long run.  I felt...peace.  Wow!  It is amazing what it feels like when you get it back and you didn't even know it was gone.  My heart felt alive again.  No more just going through the motions and having fear assault my mind anymore.  I was thinking clearly and my heart was beating in time with the Lord's.  

I guess that is why in scripture Jesus says in John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."  I was relying on the world's peace not Jesus' peace.  And let me tell you, His peace is so much better.  

I am not saying that my "heart has not been troubled" since but I have been able to recognize when that fear is creeping in or when my peace is dwindling.  What I love most is that the Lord is so faithful to us.  He speaks so kindly to me.  Even when God should probably send fire down from heaven or write it on a wall, He is gentle and patient.  I am so thankful for that.  He knows me and He knows what my heart needs exactly when my heart needs it.  And just to let you know, my hubby survived with the kids...and so did they.

Recent Developments

Well it has been a little while since my last therapy....um I mean blogging session.  Since the last post we have added the newest member to our family, Josiah Matthew.

He was born June 9, 2011 at 3:38 AM.  He weighed a hefty 8 pounds 1 ounce and was 20 1/2 inches long.  He was not responding well to labor and so the doctor's chose for me to have a cesarean section.  When he was born the umbilical cord was around his neck and body however he was perfectly healthy once they untangled him.  He came into the world sounding like a little tea pot or as my husband insist I say, a screaming dinosaur.  He says it is not manly to be called a tea pot :)  Either way, his lungs were definitely not effected by the ordeal.  There is nothing like hearing your child's cry for the first time.  So many emotions, of course, I cried.

He has been such a joy and such an adjustment.  Havah was 13 months old when he was born.  She has adjusted well to him.  From laughing when he cries to petting him (very heavily at times) when she "gives him loving".  I have to say the very best and scariest moment was when we were leaving the hospital with our TWO children in the back seat.  Wow talk about a reality check.

Josiah is now 6 weeks old.  He is down to only one feeding at night (Hallelujah!) and is starting to smile and coo or, as I call it, "talk".  Again, the Lord is revealing more of Himself through my children.  (I will write more on that later.)  Matt and I couldn't be happier. Yes, it is challenging at times but I have a great support system and my kids are awesome!  Some people say we are crazy for having our kids only 13 months apart but for now we like to think of it as a way to keep us young.  

As I said, the Lord has been teaching me a lot so hopefully I will be able to blog some of what he is sharing with me in the next few days and weeks.  If I don't blog it, well....I do have two kids :)  

We're getting closer...

Well now that our one year old has almost mastered her walking abilities it has caused my hubby and I to become a lot more active.  From walking/running through the yard to moving the various items out of reach from her octopus arms, our responsibility level has definitely increased.  Let me say, I enjoy more than anything watching Havah learn and discover her new found abilities.

She is so much fun.  I know, I know, she is ours, but really if you knew her she really is a lot of fun.  She is becoming more independent so she doesn't want to be held as much and she is expressing her emotions a lot more.  (AKA temper tantrums)  It is hard to know exactly how do deal with them.  I mean do you let her just throw her little fit or do you try to distract her to get her mind off of what she if fussing about to begin with.  Not really sure.  Experimenting in progress.  We will let you know.

My progress is....well...progressing.  We are currently 37 weeks pregnant!  This is the farthest we have been in pregnancy.  With Havah we only made it to 35 weeks so the uncertainty of what to expect for labor  is mounting.  Everyday we get closer.  I have to say, I don't feel very prepared however I don't know if you can ever be prepared to have a baby.  My list of things I want to get done continues to expand as my memory of what I want to get done continues to diminish.

For example, on Monday I was leaving the house to get to work by 8:30ish and realized I did not have my keys.  So I got Havah out of her car seat to try and look for them.  I ended up looking for 45 minutes for my keys.  I mean, moving the couch and bed, crawling on the floor so I could be eye level with where Havah may have dropped them....45 minutes looking.  Then I discovered them right as I was calling my in-laws to come get me...on the COUNTER!!!!  The whole time I searched they were almost taunting me, every time I groaned and moaned trying to stand and squat back down to look, again, under the bed they laughed.  Very funny you may say, not to a 9 month pregnant woman.  I cried when I couldn't find them then cried when I did.  Looking back it is funny but in the moment, not so much.

So as for us, we are getting closer.  Closer to expanding our family and closer to being busier and more full than ever.  So exciting.  Can't wait.

Happy Birthday Havah Joy!!

Our little girl is ONE!!!  Can you believe it?!  I sure can't.  In light of the tornados that ripped through the state of Alabama, we had something to celebrate.  First of all, we have our lives and our home.  Secondly, we have our little girl growing up right in front of our eyes.

Let me say, Havah is one spunky little girl.  She has started taking staggered, unsteady first steps.  She is becoming more and more brave even using things like a piece of paper to try to stand on.  It is quite funny to watch as she explores her independence and her ever expanding capabilities.

On her birthday, April 28th we did not have electricity so Matt and I were both off work.  We got the privilege of spending all day with the Birthday Girl.  She was so happy.  We really didn't do anything special other than be a family but I must say it was so enjoyable.  Matt mowed the yard and Havah and I played in the sunshine.  She would take a nap, get back up reenergized and we would play even harder than we did before.  

She loves her mommy and daddy!

As I mentioned we were without lights for a few days but it was actually not too bad.  We have a gas water  heater so we still were able to take showers and wash dishes.  We also have a gas fireplace in which we cooked hotdogs one night.  We just looked at it as camping indoors.

 We decided to go ahead and have Havah's birthday party on Saturday, even in the dark.  We were going to have it outside anyway so why not have everyone together to get our minds off of the destruction that was all around us.  I think it was almost therapeutic for everyone.  We were able to laugh and talk and the "big kids" even played a game of kickball.  (Yes, even I played at 33 weeks pregnant.  That was a sight to see.  I will have to post pictures later. )

Havah LOVED her birthday cake and we got some awesome pictures of her digging around in it.  She even had her very own personal cake that her Bella (my mom) made her.  She got a few new outfits, a baby doll, a few books and a music set.

Again, I can't believe a year has pasted since she entered the world.  She has brought life and joy; smiles and laughter; a deeper understanding of how much God loves us and a world of wonder and expectancy for the things to come.

Havah Joy, we are so thankful to have a beautiful little girl like you!  You are a light to be around.  You love music and clap with delight when you hear someone sing.  You love to be thrown in the air and slobber all over everything.  You already have a heart for the Lord because you respond even physically.  May you continue to hear and follow the move of the Holy Spirt.  May you give your whole heart, soul, mind and strength to the wooing of the One who loves you beyond comprehension.  We love you sweet girl!  Happy 1st Birthday!