Was Doubting Thomas Really Doubting?

My husband and I recently had a conversation about "Doubting Thomas" and it got me thinking.  You know, Thomas had gotten a really bad reputation throughout the years.  In my opinion, Thomas was a man of great faith.  Psalms tells us to "taste and see that the Lord is good."  Rather than seeing Thomas as doubting that Christ had really risen what if he was just looking for his own experience with the Son of God.  

A lot of times in my life, I want to use someone else's experiences with God instead of searching for my own.  I want to claim their relationship with Jesus as my own without taking the time to form my own intimate relationship.  If scripture tells us to taste and see then I should taste and see, not have someone else do it for me.  I believe the Lord WANTS to reveal himself to us and he is waiting for us to search him out. 

So when Thomas was asking to touch Jesus' nail scared hands maybe that was his way of "tasting and seeing" the Lord.  And you know what the best part is?  Jesus showed himself to Thomas.  Thomas was able to get his own experience and the opportunity to touch the risen One.  

So what would happen if we asked?  Would we experience our own supernatural breakthrough?  Would we see the heart of God?  Would we stop "riding on the coat tails" of others and have our own story to tell?  

From now on, maybe I will no longer think of Thomas as a doubter but rather see him as a reminder of how desperately God wants to show Himself to us.