Confession

Confession time.  I am an activity junkie!  I love planning things to do!  One of my favorite things to do at the beginning of the year is to write all the yearly activities in my planner.  I get some kind of weird excitement when we have all four weekends of the month already planned.  I usually plan different projects to accomplish throughout the week whether it be deep cleaning a room or doing a craft with the kids.  I like having the list and the gratification of checking it off.  I never thought I would be the "type A" mom but it's me.  I have come to love and dislike this part of who I am.

I like having my husband be impressed with what I get done even with two kids running around and being 31 weeks pregnant.  However, one downside to my activity madness is that I plan even when I am not supposed to.  Lately I have felt convicted about doing rather than being.  I have mentioned that before but it seems to be a reoccurring theme the Lord points out to me.

Our two children are so different sometimes.  Josiah, our 20 month old, is "all boy".  Anything loud, gross or challenging, count him in.  He loves the challenge of escaping his crib and seeing how far he can throw his cars.  Funny sometimes, frustrating other times.  Havah, our 2 1/2 year old likes to have something to do. (She gets it honest).  She usually follows the rules, likes learning and trying new things.  The problem comes when my agenda and their agenda don't line up.  One of my greatest challenges comes when they want to play and I still need to complete my checklist for the day.  I have an inner battle of do I finish my checklist quickly or stop everything and take advantage of the play opportunity?  Ok so at this very moment it doesn't seem like it should even be a question but in the midst of it, I really do struggle.

Me and Havah 

Matt and Josiah

Josiah maning the grill :)

Havah whipping up something scrumptious to eat.  

Matt, my husband, and I were talking about this a few days ago.  He reminded me that my "activity" list was not a bad thing.  Doing the laundry, feeding them, cleaning the home they play in are ways I express my love to them.  However, sometimes they just need me, my presence, my undivided attention.  They need me to eat the pretend salad and doughnut that Havah just made, race the cars down the track with Josiah and play Red Light/Green Light for the 25th time today.

I know I need that with God.  I love that He heals me, comforts me and provides for me but sometimes I just long for Him to be with me.  Just love on me where and when I need it most.  What is so interesting is that when I sit in His presence the other things come along with it.  I love that He loves me like that.

So I will try, once again, to just be in the presence of my kids and in the presence of the Lord.