Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A moment of reflection

Lately my heart has not been able to keep up with what is going through my head.  I feel as though my head is going one hundred miles an hour and my heart is just now able to catch up.  
Christmas has come and gone and yet I feel like it never happened.  Yes, I got all my Christmas decorations up, food made, gifts bought but something was missing.  We spent time with family and I watched as my little girl was fascinated with wrapping paper more than what was in it.  We sung Christmas carols, watched Christmas movies and hosted Christmas parties but I missed something.  My heart hurts thinking about it.  I am guilty. I was caught up in the Christmas doing rather than the Christmas being.  

Christmas has always been a time of reflection for me.  A time where I can look back and see the good, the bad and the ugly and rejoice in a year filled with so much.  I usually take some time to be still and absorb the sights, sounds, and emotions of the season.  It is a way of focusing on what has been and what will come.  It is a type of rejuvenation that must occur in order for me to truly appreciate what has happened.   
So I am taking that time now.  Maybe Christmas is a little late for me this year but it is Christmas none the less.  Recentering, refocusing, rejuvenating.  
We began the year in a whirlwind of baby showers.  Then all of the sudden, she is here!  (early but definitely here).  We bought a house, renovated the house, moved in the house all while adjusting to parenthood.  We are learning how to love each other as parents, as well as lovers.  That’s hard!  We are learning how to balance work, children, house stuff, family, and each other.  That’s hard!  I know a lot of people do it, but man is it an adjustment!  As the year progressed, and we finally felt we had gotten the hang of the all the newness, we are surprised yet again with the gift of being pregnant.  The rest of the year has flown by in a flash of weekend trips to my parents, visiting friends in Nashville, Florence and more family in southern Alabama.  
I can’t believe we have come so far and yet have so far to go.  I am thankful for the lessons learned, the relationships that have grown, and the development of a beautiful new role called mommyhood.  May I not get so caught up in the things to do that I forget the things that matter most.  
So Merry Christmas and may you have a very Happy New Year!  

No comments:

Post a Comment