Peace

Well let me start off this blog with updates.

We went to the doctor a few days ago for well baby visits, Havah for her 15 month and Josiah for his 2 month.  Before I give you any more details let's just say it was...adventurous.  Taking two babies at the same time for shots is not my idea of fun or in the realm of sanity in my opinion.  Lesson learned, take them separately.

Anyway, Havah is a whopping 21 pounds 10 ounces and 31 1/2 inches long.  According to the doctor she is saying more words than the average 15 month old, I could have told him that because she is a little chatter box.  She is right on track with her development, walking, jabbering, and learning at the speed of sound.  Josiah, is a scale breaking 13 pounds 9 ounces and 24 1/4 inches long.  So there is only 8 pounds difference between my two kids!  Amazing what having a full term baby will do.  He, as well, is developmentally right on track with his heart melting smiles and coos.

As I mentioned in my last blog, Father God has taught me so much through our kids. So here is a lesson learned about peace.

When we brought Josiah home, my naive self thought adjusting would be easy, I mean after all I do already have one child, I have done this all before.  I was wrong.  Just being honest I was intimidated by having both children together at once by myself.  A lot of fear went through my head.  "What if I loose my cool with them?"  "What if I don't know what to do with them?"  "What if they don't like me?" "Am I spending enough time with each of them?"  "Are the healthy?"  "Am I doing the same things with Josiah as I did with Havah?"  This list could go on but you get the idea.  I didn't really want to share this extensive list with anyone much less be honest about it with God.  I thought, "this will pass, just keep pushing through."  I tried to just push through but it didn't work.  I found myself in a whirlwind of trying to look good on the outside but emotional chaos was brewing on the inside.   

One night, my incredible sister-in-law convinced me to go to a women's conference with her at the church we used to attend.  I was very hesitant because after all, if I was intimidated with both kids then surely my husband would be as well.  However, after much encouragement I decided to go.  I can't really tell you what the message was about or how amazing the worship was I just know that after I left I felt like a totally different person.  I felt renewed, refreshed, like I had drank a cool glass of water after a long run.  I felt...peace.  Wow!  It is amazing what it feels like when you get it back and you didn't even know it was gone.  My heart felt alive again.  No more just going through the motions and having fear assault my mind anymore.  I was thinking clearly and my heart was beating in time with the Lord's.  

I guess that is why in scripture Jesus says in John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."  I was relying on the world's peace not Jesus' peace.  And let me tell you, His peace is so much better.  

I am not saying that my "heart has not been troubled" since but I have been able to recognize when that fear is creeping in or when my peace is dwindling.  What I love most is that the Lord is so faithful to us.  He speaks so kindly to me.  Even when God should probably send fire down from heaven or write it on a wall, He is gentle and patient.  I am so thankful for that.  He knows me and He knows what my heart needs exactly when my heart needs it.  And just to let you know, my hubby survived with the kids...and so did they.

Recent Developments

Well it has been a little while since my last therapy....um I mean blogging session.  Since the last post we have added the newest member to our family, Josiah Matthew.

He was born June 9, 2011 at 3:38 AM.  He weighed a hefty 8 pounds 1 ounce and was 20 1/2 inches long.  He was not responding well to labor and so the doctor's chose for me to have a cesarean section.  When he was born the umbilical cord was around his neck and body however he was perfectly healthy once they untangled him.  He came into the world sounding like a little tea pot or as my husband insist I say, a screaming dinosaur.  He says it is not manly to be called a tea pot :)  Either way, his lungs were definitely not effected by the ordeal.  There is nothing like hearing your child's cry for the first time.  So many emotions, of course, I cried.

He has been such a joy and such an adjustment.  Havah was 13 months old when he was born.  She has adjusted well to him.  From laughing when he cries to petting him (very heavily at times) when she "gives him loving".  I have to say the very best and scariest moment was when we were leaving the hospital with our TWO children in the back seat.  Wow talk about a reality check.

Josiah is now 6 weeks old.  He is down to only one feeding at night (Hallelujah!) and is starting to smile and coo or, as I call it, "talk".  Again, the Lord is revealing more of Himself through my children.  (I will write more on that later.)  Matt and I couldn't be happier. Yes, it is challenging at times but I have a great support system and my kids are awesome!  Some people say we are crazy for having our kids only 13 months apart but for now we like to think of it as a way to keep us young.  

As I said, the Lord has been teaching me a lot so hopefully I will be able to blog some of what he is sharing with me in the next few days and weeks.  If I don't blog it, well....I do have two kids :)  

We're getting closer...

Well now that our one year old has almost mastered her walking abilities it has caused my hubby and I to become a lot more active.  From walking/running through the yard to moving the various items out of reach from her octopus arms, our responsibility level has definitely increased.  Let me say, I enjoy more than anything watching Havah learn and discover her new found abilities.

She is so much fun.  I know, I know, she is ours, but really if you knew her she really is a lot of fun.  She is becoming more independent so she doesn't want to be held as much and she is expressing her emotions a lot more.  (AKA temper tantrums)  It is hard to know exactly how do deal with them.  I mean do you let her just throw her little fit or do you try to distract her to get her mind off of what she if fussing about to begin with.  Not really sure.  Experimenting in progress.  We will let you know.

My progress is....well...progressing.  We are currently 37 weeks pregnant!  This is the farthest we have been in pregnancy.  With Havah we only made it to 35 weeks so the uncertainty of what to expect for labor  is mounting.  Everyday we get closer.  I have to say, I don't feel very prepared however I don't know if you can ever be prepared to have a baby.  My list of things I want to get done continues to expand as my memory of what I want to get done continues to diminish.

For example, on Monday I was leaving the house to get to work by 8:30ish and realized I did not have my keys.  So I got Havah out of her car seat to try and look for them.  I ended up looking for 45 minutes for my keys.  I mean, moving the couch and bed, crawling on the floor so I could be eye level with where Havah may have dropped them....45 minutes looking.  Then I discovered them right as I was calling my in-laws to come get me...on the COUNTER!!!!  The whole time I searched they were almost taunting me, every time I groaned and moaned trying to stand and squat back down to look, again, under the bed they laughed.  Very funny you may say, not to a 9 month pregnant woman.  I cried when I couldn't find them then cried when I did.  Looking back it is funny but in the moment, not so much.

So as for us, we are getting closer.  Closer to expanding our family and closer to being busier and more full than ever.  So exciting.  Can't wait.

Happy Birthday Havah Joy!!

Our little girl is ONE!!!  Can you believe it?!  I sure can't.  In light of the tornados that ripped through the state of Alabama, we had something to celebrate.  First of all, we have our lives and our home.  Secondly, we have our little girl growing up right in front of our eyes.

Let me say, Havah is one spunky little girl.  She has started taking staggered, unsteady first steps.  She is becoming more and more brave even using things like a piece of paper to try to stand on.  It is quite funny to watch as she explores her independence and her ever expanding capabilities.

On her birthday, April 28th we did not have electricity so Matt and I were both off work.  We got the privilege of spending all day with the Birthday Girl.  She was so happy.  We really didn't do anything special other than be a family but I must say it was so enjoyable.  Matt mowed the yard and Havah and I played in the sunshine.  She would take a nap, get back up reenergized and we would play even harder than we did before.  

She loves her mommy and daddy!

As I mentioned we were without lights for a few days but it was actually not too bad.  We have a gas water  heater so we still were able to take showers and wash dishes.  We also have a gas fireplace in which we cooked hotdogs one night.  We just looked at it as camping indoors.

 We decided to go ahead and have Havah's birthday party on Saturday, even in the dark.  We were going to have it outside anyway so why not have everyone together to get our minds off of the destruction that was all around us.  I think it was almost therapeutic for everyone.  We were able to laugh and talk and the "big kids" even played a game of kickball.  (Yes, even I played at 33 weeks pregnant.  That was a sight to see.  I will have to post pictures later. )

Havah LOVED her birthday cake and we got some awesome pictures of her digging around in it.  She even had her very own personal cake that her Bella (my mom) made her.  She got a few new outfits, a baby doll, a few books and a music set.

Again, I can't believe a year has pasted since she entered the world.  She has brought life and joy; smiles and laughter; a deeper understanding of how much God loves us and a world of wonder and expectancy for the things to come.

Havah Joy, we are so thankful to have a beautiful little girl like you!  You are a light to be around.  You love music and clap with delight when you hear someone sing.  You love to be thrown in the air and slobber all over everything.  You already have a heart for the Lord because you respond even physically.  May you continue to hear and follow the move of the Holy Spirt.  May you give your whole heart, soul, mind and strength to the wooing of the One who loves you beyond comprehension.  We love you sweet girl!  Happy 1st Birthday!

 

11 Months old! WOW!

I can't believe our little girl is already 11 months old.  I know it is so cliche but it really does go by fast.  I just think about our 4 pound 8 ounce tiny baby we brought home and didn't know what to do with.  Now, she is crawling around, pulling up and yelling in the stairwell.  She is full of life and personality.  I am so thankful to have her and feel more complete with her in my life.  She teaches me how to love and how to be loved.  Even when I get frustrated with her, she stills wants me and smiles when I walk in the room.  She is curious, loud, and funny.  She will smile at strangers and blow kisses to her grandparents.  Wow, what did we do for fun before her?  We must have been very lazy :)

Today, we went to church with my mom.  During worship, she yelled in approval and clapped with delight.  I sang in her ear and she "hummed" along.  My prayer is that she would always respond to worship.  Not just because of the music but because in scripture it says that "in His presence is the fullness of joy." It also says in scripture that "the joy of the Lord is our strength."  So I am not just praying that she would be a "happy" person but I am praying that she would be strong.  So many times we see joy as happy-go-lucky, smile at everything, I'm just a door mat kind of person.  But obviously God sees joy as something to contended with.  He knowns that when we have joy, we have a hidden weapon.  No one can steal it, you can't manipulate it, others can't make it go away.

Wow, I didn't even realize the power of my own prayer for my daughter. :)    I pray that she does have that inner strength and she does hear the heart of the Lord every time she enters into a worship service.  That Havah would musically be able to express her heart to the Lord and He would whisper the depths of His heart to her.

So happy 11 months, Havah Joy!  We love you,
Mommy and Daddy

4 years, 10 months, and 25 weeks

Last week was a week of turning for us.

First, my husband and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary!  I can't believe it has been 4 years.  I love him more now than I ever have before.  I now understand what it means to allow your love to mature.  When we first started dating it really was just a superficial, "hey you're hot!" kind of relationship.  During our courting/engagement period we grew from superficial relationship to learning how to battle together.  We had to fight to maintain purity in our relationship but you know, it gave us something that drew us even closer, something to fight for.  Since we have been married we have grown in our love for one another and have come to understand not just what we say to each other but also what we really mean.  Believe me, there is a major difference.

We celebrated by going to Atlanta for the weekend.  First, stopping by my parents house to drop off the little girl.  She would not be making the trip with us this time because mommy and daddy needed some alone time.  We really enjoyed reconnecting with one another and were very thankful for the opportunity to go on our weekend get-a-way.

Speaking of the little girl, she turned 10 months old last week as well!  I can't believe my little princess is 10 months old.  I know it is cliche, but time really has flown by.  She has now discovered our stairs and it has brought on a whole new realm of adventure to her life.  She is crawling, pulling up, talking like crazy and using her daddy and I as a human jungle gym.  I know I say this all the time but she is so much fun!

And last but certainly not least, we are now 25 weeks pregnant!  So we are over halfway there and boy am I starting to feel it.  I feel like we have gone from little soft flutters of movement to Kung Fu kicks that would make Chuck Norris proud.  He is very active and I love it!  My favorite is when we are about to go to bed, Matt says good night to the baby and the baby will start wiggling.  It is so sweet.

So there is our last week in a nut shell.  Hope your week is truly blessed.

Seeing changes

Our little one, Havah Joy is now a very energetic 9 months old.  She has learned all kinds of "tricks" over the past few months.  Her personality is growing everyday and we are beginning to see traces of what, we think, will be a very fun, spirited little lady.

I was giving her a bath tonight and she has discovered that she can crawl in the bathtub now.   Before, she had a difficult time going from the sitting position to the crawl position and vise versa, but now...she is making up for lost time.  So as I watched her explore her new capability I couldn't help but think of how the Father looks at us.  I know I have gone down this thought process before but bare with me for a moment.

When I look at my little girl, I see her developing and discovering new wonders everyday.  I see her find new ways to get around, new sounds to make, new foods to taste.  She is exploring and enjoying it.  I think of how Father God looks at us and sees us "find new ways to get around, new sounds to make, and new foods to taste."  I think of how Havah will slip in the bathtub and hit her head (like she did tonight, don't worry she is fine.)  I think of how I slip and fall and how God loves and comforts me just the same.

I look forward to every milestone that Havah reaches.  I know that God looks forward to the milestones that I reach.  The funny thing is, is that it doesn't happen over night, and I don't want it to.  Although sometimes I want to be everything that God wants me to be...RIGHT NOW!  And even more so, I want others to be everything they should be RIGHT NOW!  And just like it is not reality for Havah to go from crawling to doing physics in a day; it is not reality for me to expect others to go from singing "Jesus loves me" to memorizing the New Testament in a day.

I give myself more grace to make changes than I do for others.  So maybe I should take a lesson from Havah and just enjoy the milestones and see the "small things" as progress not only for myself but also for others.  

It's a Boy!!

This week has been very busy for our little household.

The big news is that we found out we are having a little BOY!  We are absolutely thrilled!  I didn't even give the ultrasound tech time to tell us, I knew right away.  Let's just say that he was not shy :)  It is so neat to know that our name will be passed on through this little man and he is not even here yet.  We are right at the halfway point and the doctor says everything looks perfect.  Thank you Jesus!

Next on the weekly schedule, our daughter, Havah had tubes put in her ears this week.  She has gone through 5 rounds of antibiotics in 3 months.  When the doctor put her tubes in on Thursday he said that her ears were still severely infected. (She has been on antibiotics for 2 weeks now)  It was kind of frustrating to hear that and to know that she was suffering and we didn't even know it.  However I think the tubes are already starting to help.  The doctor asked if she was babbling yet; when we told him yes he said we should expect for it to increase in frequency and volume.  It has!  She spent about 30 minutes playing in the floor when we got home squealing at the top of her lungs.  I think she feels better.  :)

Lastly, Hubby and I have prayed about a potential job promotion for him for a few days now.  This promotion would significantly increase our income however it would also increase the amount of time Hubby would have to spend at work for the first 6 months or so.  We found out on Friday that he is no longer in the running for the promotion.  We were shocked because he has consistently been a top performer in his field.  In our prayers we asked that the Lord would protect us from unforeseen dangers or pitfalls that comes along with any step of faith.  We believe He did just that.  Although we are disappointed we can't help but see God has a master plan for our lives.      

I'm so thankful for our week.  The hand of the Lord has been seen throughout.  He has reminded us, yet again, that He is faithful and that he will provide for all of our needs.