Friday, June 8, 2012

Bearing fruit in every season

Look at me blogging in less than 6 months!  Wahoo!  :)  A little self encouragement before we get back to the lessons from the garden.  I have to say I am proud of myself.

Warning: this post is a little lengthy.  Apparently I write the way I talk :)  Whoops.

Ok so  we talked about the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5.  So as the Lord has been showing me scripture about fruit and growing of course, John 15 comes up.  John 15:4, "Abide in Me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.  'I am the vine, you are the branches.  He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.'" A little self explanatory but for me it goes a little deeper.  

Since our son, Josiah has been born I have been diagnosed with a condition called Meinier's Disease.  This condition is a build up of fluid in the inner ear which eventually releases and causes sever to moderate vertigo.  The condition varies greatly.  Some people it doesn't bother much and others it is debilitating.  For me, I have been having an episode about once a week and it usually last anywhere from 12 to 24 hours where it makes me extremely nauseous.  I have to ask friends and family to come help me watch the kids while I deal with it  because I can't be upright"tossing my cookies" :)  (Just to answer some questions, no it was not pregnancy related.  No, there is not really a cure-except the blood of Jesus- but there are proceeders that can help lessen the severity, which I have had 3 already.)  Needless to say this has been a very frustrating, angry, confusing time for us.  I have struggled with sharing with anyone because I keep telling myself it's not life threatening so it's not that bad.  But you know what?  It is that bad for me!  For those who know me, I don't slow down much.  Not that I am that busy, I just like to stay active (not that athletic, work out kind because that is definitely not the case, haha)  I like to have get togethers, play with my kids, visit with people and get out of the house....just active...not to mention the house work and kids :)  

When these episodes first started I was extremely frustrated and angry at God.  "I mean, really God?  I have a newborn and a one year old.  I don't have time for this!"  I was scared that I was not going to be able to enjoy them and they were going to have to be MY caretaker for the rest of my life.  So fear set in and I was hesitant to schedule anything and always had a plan B of who I could call to come help.  

So what does this have to do with bearing fruit?  The Lord began speaking to me about my heart during this time.  He lead me to Revelations 22:2,"In the middle of its street, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve fruits, each tree yielding its fruit every month.  The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.  And there shall be no more cures, but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it, and His servants shall serve Him." A tree that bears fruit in every season?  Huh?  What does that mean?  Well for me, it meant that I was called to bear fruit no matter what was going on in my life.  God was calling me to grow and bear good fruit during this difficult season.  My heart was bitter, angry and fearful which meant my fruit would produce the same things not only in me but in my children!  How was I supposed to teach my kids about the faithfulness and healing power of God when I did not believe it myself?  Get it?  It produces fruit in every season even in my kid's seasons.  So what kind of fruit do I want to produce in my children?  So I have made it a point to be thankful even when a dizzy episode comes at the most inconvenient time.  I try to find the good things about the situation because I want my children to know that the Lord is Good, He is faithful, He is healer.  He teaches us, even when it is hard.  And when we start producing that kind of fruit "the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations".  Again, not just for me but for others, the nations.  

So my healing comes when I produce fruit.  It may not be the healing that I expect but maybe that is not the healing I thought I needed.  Maybe it is not just physical healing but heart healing.  I want to be one that produces good fruit in every season even when all the circumstances says I'm not supposed to be producing.

It wouldn't be a blog post without some pictures of the kiddos.  

1 comment:

  1. I am so glad that you posted this! Over the last month I have struggled as well with anger over my job situation and the hospital/doctor visits. I have taken a lot of comfort from Proverbs 3:5-7 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." It is thanks to God that we still have our wonderful children and although it may not be the best job situation, at least I have a job. - You have given me further comfort from your post. You are such a wonderful person and I am sure you will get through this!